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Last night I learned to drive a nuclear submarine.
Not only was it my first crack at driving one of these things that has no windshield to see through, I was evading the nazi submarines who were closing in on us very quickly. A little bit stressful.
Not only was it my first crack at driving one of these things while the nazis are closing in on us, but Mr Molloy (grade 12 math teacher) was yelling at me and punching me in the shoulder. “You dunderhead!”

He was pissing me off, so, I’m sorry, I shot him five times. I couldn’t concentrate.

Eventually I crashed trying to steer through an underwater trench, and lay there under the twisted wreckage while we slowly drowned to death. My back was crushed so bad that my spine was sticking out.

That’s when I woke up. In pain. My back felt like my spine was sticking out.

Sorry, about wrecking the sub, killing every one on board, and shooting Mr. Molloy.

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